Dating and Marriage and Dating, Oh My!

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In our last post, The Purpose of Dating – Part 1, we shared some effective tips on what we called “early dating” for young adults. But what about older adults, those that are 20-ish and up?

Glad you asked, but first:

Marriage Conference

Our heartfelt thanks to Mike & Doris Courtney, Robert and Joan Collier, Springhouse Worship and Arts Center, Nathan Owen (lights), Jonathan Beaty (sound), Jim Caldwell (photos) and ALL the attendees for making this past weekend’s, “I Still Do!” marriage conference a HUGE success. Thank you, thank you!

Now, back to…

Dating

We ended the last post with these two statements:

  1. The primary purpose for early dating (and each household must decide what “early” means…) should be to get to know many, many people of the opposite sex.
  2. It is NOT to find the “love of your life” or “the one”, that will come later.

It should come as no surprise then, that our suggestion for later dating IS to find the “love of your life” or “the one” (as long as you recognize the myths of finding “the perfect one”).

Here are a few tips with this in mind:

  • Date as many people as it takes. We’re not suggesting sneaking around behind people’s backs; we’re suggesting dating lots of people. Which also means:
  • Don’t fall deeply in love and break up over and over again. Yes, even as older adults you should avoid the training cycle of divorce skills mentioned in our last post.
  • Once you DO find the possible “one”, date them a LOT and ask lots of questions. The pastor on this video recommends 1,000.

Dating and Marriage

But note two things about these 1,000 questions:

  • You will NEVER learn everything about the other person. It’s just not possible because you both – hopefully – will continually change and grow and mature for the rest of your lives.
  • You will also NEVER learn that you are now “in love” enough to sustain a lifelong of marriage. It’s just not possible because you both – hopefully – will continually change and grow and mature for the rest of your lives.

The purpose of dating and asking 1,000 questions is to find the person you never want to stop dating.

Marriage and Dating

This is not a post to remind married couples to go on romantic dates periodically. It is a post about having a healthy, life-long marriage by:

  • Resting in your choice of a spouse once and for all. A healthy marriage is built on the one time decision of ’til death do us part’.
  • Spending your lives getting to know each other as you continually change and grow and mature for the rest of your lives.

And btw, a great way to spend your lives getting to know each other is to periodically going on romantic dates together. 😉

photo credit: 81311-53 via photopin (license)

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